Message 4887 : The Lord of the Rings [condensed] (Quickening) Written on Sun Dec 18 22:05:44 1994 Ok, I abbreviated the buffer here, to keep with the two page limit. So grab a cup of tea, or whatever, and settle down to read the TRUE story of what happened in the Lord of the Rings. Bilbo was having a birthday party for him and Frodo, and everyone was invited. Many people came to join the happy celebration. Bilbo narrates 'wow! I finally got to the fourth age bracket!' Frodo narrates 'yeah, but your moves suck now, all you got is mana...' Bilbo narrates 'well, maybe I'll learn colour spray, to help me hunt in the warrens.' Bilbo stops using a ring. Bilbo dissappears in a puff of smoke. Bilbo tells you 'don't worry, I got a trans to Rivendell...' Now, one of the visitors was the Wizard Gandalf the Grey... And Frodo and Gandalf began to talk... Frodo says 'so why are you in the shire now?' Gandalf says 'well, besides this birthday party, I need to get evil to use a fang... it's a great weapon. Much better than my old thorn.' Gandalf says 'besides, I can't backstab with Glamdring very well' Gandalf looks at Frodo. *>l frodo Frodo is in excellent condition. a ring The One Ring! It has a soft humming sound... Gandalf begins some strange incantations... Gandalf utters the words 'fireball' Gandalf swears loudly for a long time. Gandalf says 'damned newbie protection' Gandalf now thinks to himself, hmm, if I can't get him to give it to me, maybe if I convince him to go someplace dangerous, I can loot his corpse. So Gandalf convinces him to go on a long journey... Gandalf says, 'now be careful of Tom Bombadil's house, I hear that orcs hang out there now.' Gandalf says 'and remember! use brief mode! to save net usage!' Now, the rumour of Frodo's ring had spread, and other people than Gandalf wanted this ring also. And as Frodo slept, others arrived before he started his journey. But more feared than Saurons ringwraiths arrived to claim the prize also... Someone even more deadly than Sauron himself! Sometime that night... Samwise narrates 'Frodo! wake up! they are here! Run!' Guards burst in through the keyhole, to come to their master's aid! Frodo narrates 'damn! help trans! Chief of Tharbad is here!' Frodo panics, and attempt to flee, but can't find an exit! *>ex North - a 'locked' door *>open door It seems to be locked! The chief of Tharbad slashes your body to small fragments. The Guard joins his fight! The guard joins his fight! The guard joins his fight! Frodo begins some strange incantations.... Frodo utters the words 'teleport' *>The Old Forest Frodo made his way through Old forest, and makes it into the wightlord. Frodo is incapacited, and Gandalf arrives, and Solos the Wightlord. As a result, the lord is upped, now casting fear, no longer is affected by combat spells, and has 22 nobles that spam 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!' Samwise gets a wightblade. Samwise wields a wightblade, looking evil-minded. Pippin gets a wightblade. Pippin wields a wightblade, looking evil-minded. Gandalf says 'those blade are from the barrows, and are very good.' Gandalf gets a ruby ring. Gandalf wears a ruby ring on his left finger. GAndalf says 'how much does the One ring weight Frodo? would you check?' Frodo stops using the One ring. Frodo drops the One ring. Frodo says '1/2 kg.' Gandalf gets the One ring. Gandalf cackles in Frodo's face. GAndalf puts the One ring on his finger, but is zapped by it! GAndalf says 'ack! i was wearing another ring at the same time!' Frodo gets the One ring... Frodo growls menacingly. So the party makes its way towards Rivendell. They pick up Strider on the way. Barliman was very suspicious of him, and would't let him have a room, because he was over level 15 however... but during the night, they are attacked! Frodo wears the One ring on his finger. Frodo fades invisible! Gandalf yells 'idiot! they see invisible! everything does!' But they ride for the safety of Rivendell once again. Coming closer, they meet Glorfindel. Glorfindel says 'Frodo, can you ride? take my horse, and spam east!' Glorfindel says 'why don't you just cast breath of briskness Gandalf?' Gandalf says 'saving for backstab for my fang...' Frodo makes it across the ford, and later the rest of the team arrives. Glorfindel says 'any of you guys evil?' They arrive safely in Rivendell. Arwen Undomiel says 'if you follow me, I will show you around?' Elrond looks at Gandalf. Elrond says 'You stray from the path...' Later that night... *>who god Ainur- Dand the None (Linkless) Frodo has lost his link. Bilbo has arrived from the south. Bilbo gives a mitheral coat to Frodo. Bilbo gives an elven short sword to Frodo. Bilbo gives some gold to Frodo. Bilbo has left the game. Frodo smirks. *>who god Ainur- Dand the None (Linkless) Frodo yells 'ok, i'm ready now!' Gandalf narrates 'is moria open yet?' Slayer narrates 'dut go to the Balrug, it killd me! Ariakas load it onme!' The company descends into Moria, and escapes. Gandalf gets caught with the Balrog though, and runs into a deathtrap to save xp loss. However, looses Glamdring in the process. The company is now outside, and is encountering cold weather... Aragorn says 'I hate snow!' Frodo sings 'slow!' Legolas says 'you know, I wish elves knew how to run on snow, that would be a neat trick... to bad we elves don't know how to do that...' Gimli says 'I hear that trolls know how to run on top of snow! they can run without sinking through!' Legolas says 'shoulda played my troll...' But they get through the snow, cause they all go linkless until the season changes. They never figured out how the weather changed however. They blamed it on orcs with control weather, until someone pointed out that orcs don't have control weather, that it was a whitie spell. Boromir looks at Frodo. Boromir says 'gimmi that ring or I kill all your characters.' Frodo panics, and attempts to flee. Samwise narrates 'ORCS! HELP ORCS! ' Boromir narrates 'YES! I get WPS now! how many does Amber have?' Boromir slashes *an orcs* hand to small fragments. *An orc* shoots Boromir's hand. *An orc* shoots Boromir's head. *An orc* utters the words 'hold person' (200 arrows later) Boromir is dead! R.I.P. An Old man gets the corpse of Boromir. *An orc* kills an Old man! *An orc* yells 'argh, i cant lift the corpse from the old man corpse!' The corpse of the old man decays. To be continued. Message 4888 : The Lord of the Rings [condensed] Part II (Quickening) Written on Sun Dec 18 22:35:01 1994 Well, Boromir ran out to try to get his corpse, but died to a ferocious warg cause he had no weapon and was at awful, and decided to quit for seven weeks until he got age again. However, during the melee, the hobbits got seperated. Pippin and Merry were all alone, but captured by orcs! Ugluk looks at *a hobbit*. Ugluk says 'I think we should just kill them... but Sauron says no.' RumpleBarc says 'yeah! kill them!' Slushy says 'NO! let them be!' Kurgan says 'and who are you to stop us>?' Fnineteen looks at Slushy. FNineteen slashes Mograth's head into small fragments! Moonchild joins FNineteen's fight! Hairball joins Mograth's fight! --- So it was thus that Slushy convinced the orcs to only capture them--- Merry narrates 'orcs have us, near plains!' And two hundred men set out on horseback with lances to attack them. Ugluk says 'we can't fight them at day, cause uruk-hai means only that we can move during day.' Killjoy says 'But we are the fighting Uruk-hai! we fight in the sun!' Cavalier says 'we get penalties while fighting in sun killjoy...' But the men attacked during the night anyway, cause they got lagged and by the time they reconnected, it was sundown, and they knew that they could never catchup with them on horses, cause with two hundred mounts refusing... (and not one of them knew breath of briskness) *A human* bellows 'Charge!!!!' *A human* bellows 'Charge!!!!' o>south *A human* runs into a flowerbush. The *orc* has arrived from the north. The *orc* smites the *human's* hand into small fragments. *A human* narrates 'dumb lances! I thought they were improved!' *A human* barely tickes the *orc* with his charge. *A human* stops using a lance. *A human* swiftly draws a horn, looking evil minded. *A human* pierces the *orc's* head to small fragments! And so the battle went... But Merry and Pippin found a forest where they found talking trees! The ent says 'I hate those orcs, they always kill us for experience...' Gandalf suddenly fades into existance. Gandalf utters the words 'charm person' So Gandalf, with an army of charmed ents, went to battle Saruman'f fort. Gandalf orders his followers to 'assist Gandalf' The ent joins Gandalf's fight! The ent joins Gandalf's fight! The ent joins Gandalf's fight! The hungry warg joins Gandalf's fight! The trained horse joins Gandalf's fight! The Queen Bee join's Gandalf's fight! And thus, the orcs and Saruman were served another defeat. But the real battle was with Samwise and Frodo, for they had stumbled into a tight spot, narrated for transes, and Brutus the evil Transer had transed them west of Rivendell into Mormeag's lair! Mormaeg hits Frodo's left foot and reduces it to small fragments. Frodo is incapacated, and will die soon, if not aided. Samwise draws an elvish shortsword, looking evil-minded. Samwise draws a wightblade, looking evil-minded. Mormaeg makes a strange gurgling sound as Samwise places an elvish short sword in her back. Mormaeg makes a strange gurgling sound as Samwise places a wightblade in her back. Mormaeg panics, and attempts to flee. Samwise tries to practice his art on Frodo, but to no avail. Samwise successfully practices firstaid on Frodo! Frodo is lying here, bleeding to death. Well, Samwise for six hours kept using firstaid, until someone told him That it would not work. Samwise has lost his link. Sammercaster arrives in a puff of smoke! Sammercaster utters the words 'heal' Sammercaster dissappers in a puff of smoke! Samwise hugs Frodo. With the help of Gollum, they got to Mount Doom, but almost got demoted for cooperating with Darkies. Gollum says 'my precious, give it to me, my precious!' Frodo says 'NO! the ring is mine! I shall rule Tharbad now!' Frodo wears the One ring. Frodo fades from sight. Gollum utters the words 'detect invisibility' Gollum utters the words 'detect invisibility' Gollum squeals, as his spell backfires! Gollum lies down, and goes to sleep. Gollum wakes up. Gollum quaffs a muave potion. Gollum bites Frodo's body hard! Frodo pierces Gollum's body and reduces it to small fragments! Gollum shouts 'Damn Elven swords of Wizkill!' Gollum is dead! R.I.P. Frodo is zapped by an orkish scale shirt, and drops it. Frodo is awarded for outstanding performance. Frodo is zapped by the One ring, and drops it. Frodo is awarded for outstanding performance. The mountain quakes! Frodo narrates 'TRANS' Gandalf narrates 'rem rings' Frodo narrates 'I can't! It's Cursed!' Gandalf narrates 'I'm going to kill Chan if I see him again!' Chan narrates 'ha ha, I've got newbie protection!' And so, the story of the Lord of the Rings was unfolded.... Quickening Hunter D